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Stop Delegating to Some Future Version of Yourself! (blog) Worth reading in my humble opinion...
Why is it, when it comes to resolutions, goals, nagging tasks, etc., that we think some future, superman-like version of ourselves will be a different person and pick up the slack for us?
I'm so guilty of doing that. I love to plan, set lofty goals, make a boatload of lists and delegate them to some future (usually tomorrow) version of me.
But let's face it, the VAST majority of the time, we're going to be the same person tomorrow that we are today. And when we do that, we feel even more guilt and anxiety, and train ourselves for failure and disappointment.
The thought behind this is ABSOLUTELY NOT defeatist whining. It's saying, "I'm capable of these things, RIGHT NOW."
I've made my lists and re-assigned & rescheduled them over and over again. That was the previous me. Can't change that. Done...gone...in the past.
Current (superman-like) me is crumpling up my pack of cigarettes, blogging, exercising, living and loving life. Ok, not all at the same time, but with each new opportunity that I get.
Change is a bitch, but so was waiting around for future me.
I'm so guilty of doing that. I love to plan, set lofty goals, make a boatload of lists and delegate them to some future (usually tomorrow) version of me.
But let's face it, the VAST majority of the time, we're going to be the same person tomorrow that we are today. And when we do that, we feel even more guilt and anxiety, and train ourselves for failure and disappointment.
The thought behind this is ABSOLUTELY NOT defeatist whining. It's saying, "I'm capable of these things, RIGHT NOW."
I've made my lists and re-assigned & rescheduled them over and over again. That was the previous me. Can't change that. Done...gone...in the past.
Current (superman-like) me is crumpling up my pack of cigarettes, blogging, exercising, living and loving life. Ok, not all at the same time, but with each new opportunity that I get.
Change is a bitch, but so was waiting around for future me.
Resolutions-Putting My Last Year of Reading to Use...
I've done a 180 on New Year's Resolutions.
The holidays were an emotional roller coaster for me. Some days, I felt like I could do anything & was supremely optimistic. Others I felt like I was spinning my wheels, not making any progress & pretty depressed.
I vowed that 2012 is different for me. I spent a pretty self-absorbed 2 weeks (thus the lack of posts) reviewing previous goals, going over everything I've read and studied this last year, decided what I want to be when I grow up (I'm 39), what my priorities are and how I'll get there.
It feels great. It doesn't look easy, but I really think the challenge will be as rewarding as the results themselves. The physical culmination of this is a series of spreadsheets right now to help me keep on track, with some supplements I have posted around me so I remember why this is so important & don't drop the ball. Here's a summary, but if anyone would like a copy of my spreadsheet to modify for themselves (it's in Excel), please email dana@positivitybuzz.com and I'd be glad to share!!
Vitality-Exercise is the cornerstone to every component of overall health; physical, mental and emotional. My goals are specific & totally achievable...I can really feel a difference already!
Fulfilling & rewarding career-My happiness and health are more important to me right now than things, so I'm making a change.
Peaceful, Beautiful and Inspiring Environment-Time to declutter and simplify!
Improve Communication and Listening Skills
Improve Relationships
Make Friends
Establish Habits that Facilitate Mental Well-Being and "Inner Peace."-Hobbies, PositivityBuzz, Meditation...these all need to become habit.
Expand Areas of Knowledge and Interests-If you're not growing, you're dying.
The holidays were an emotional roller coaster for me. Some days, I felt like I could do anything & was supremely optimistic. Others I felt like I was spinning my wheels, not making any progress & pretty depressed.
I vowed that 2012 is different for me. I spent a pretty self-absorbed 2 weeks (thus the lack of posts) reviewing previous goals, going over everything I've read and studied this last year, decided what I want to be when I grow up (I'm 39), what my priorities are and how I'll get there.
It feels great. It doesn't look easy, but I really think the challenge will be as rewarding as the results themselves. The physical culmination of this is a series of spreadsheets right now to help me keep on track, with some supplements I have posted around me so I remember why this is so important & don't drop the ball. Here's a summary, but if anyone would like a copy of my spreadsheet to modify for themselves (it's in Excel), please email dana@positivitybuzz.com and I'd be glad to share!!
Vitality-Exercise is the cornerstone to every component of overall health; physical, mental and emotional. My goals are specific & totally achievable...I can really feel a difference already!
Fulfilling & rewarding career-My happiness and health are more important to me right now than things, so I'm making a change.
Peaceful, Beautiful and Inspiring Environment-Time to declutter and simplify!
Improve Communication and Listening Skills
Improve Relationships
Make Friends
Establish Habits that Facilitate Mental Well-Being and "Inner Peace."-Hobbies, PositivityBuzz, Meditation...these all need to become habit.
Expand Areas of Knowledge and Interests-If you're not growing, you're dying.
Warning-Not so positiive. How do you learn to forgive yourself? (blog)
Since we're talking about being good to ourselves, I was researching topics & looking at self-forgiveness. This is NOT a strength of mine.
I've made mistakes in my life, a lot of them, a lot of HUGE ones that have hurt other people. Because of the guilt associated with what I've done, I tolerate a lot from people that I wouldn't otherwise. The things I tolerate, I allow to create resentment. Helluva cycle I'm in right now.
I can comfortably say that I am truly a good person now, and have been most of my life. I make every attempt to do the right things for the right reasons. This should be enough, right? How long should I try to atone before I can forgive myself? How can I forgive myself & feel good about who I am now when I clearly allow others to disrespect me?
I know what I should do and how I should feel, but changing those feelings takes more strength than I seem to have right now.
Anyone else caught in this loop?
I've made mistakes in my life, a lot of them, a lot of HUGE ones that have hurt other people. Because of the guilt associated with what I've done, I tolerate a lot from people that I wouldn't otherwise. The things I tolerate, I allow to create resentment. Helluva cycle I'm in right now.
I can comfortably say that I am truly a good person now, and have been most of my life. I make every attempt to do the right things for the right reasons. This should be enough, right? How long should I try to atone before I can forgive myself? How can I forgive myself & feel good about who I am now when I clearly allow others to disrespect me?
I know what I should do and how I should feel, but changing those feelings takes more strength than I seem to have right now.
Anyone else caught in this loop?
I Have to Stop Expecting Reciprocation...
Every morning since starting this theme, I wake up reading motivational material, get a mood boost from PositivityBuzz, resolve to be in a great mood and look for ways to share that mood with others.
Every day, usually later in the afternoon, resentment and frustration start to set in. I start getting overwhelmed with work and feel drained from trying to maintain that positive disposition when people around me are negative and/or critical. The resentment comes from my perceived lack of appreciation from the people I care for. The news of horrible things happening to people around the country & world leaves me feeling helpless. Top it off with some guilt for feeling this way, and I feel like a completely different person than when I started my day.
I'm hoping someone who reads this gets how I'm feeling.
On the bright side (as would be appropriate for Positivity), I know that when I wake up, I'll feel refreshed and my enthusiasm will be renewed. If I can just extend that energy a little further every day, eke out just a little more positive energy every time, I'll be closer to being the happy person I want to be. The person living out the quotes they send out to others every day.
Every day, usually later in the afternoon, resentment and frustration start to set in. I start getting overwhelmed with work and feel drained from trying to maintain that positive disposition when people around me are negative and/or critical. The resentment comes from my perceived lack of appreciation from the people I care for. The news of horrible things happening to people around the country & world leaves me feeling helpless. Top it off with some guilt for feeling this way, and I feel like a completely different person than when I started my day.
I'm hoping someone who reads this gets how I'm feeling.
On the bright side (as would be appropriate for Positivity), I know that when I wake up, I'll feel refreshed and my enthusiasm will be renewed. If I can just extend that energy a little further every day, eke out just a little more positive energy every time, I'll be closer to being the happy person I want to be. The person living out the quotes they send out to others every day.
Why I LOVE this time of the year!
I love this time of the year, from Thanksgiving weekend (US) through New Year's Day.
I don't know if it's reality or my perception, but it seems that people are more likely to smile, hold doors for one another, share a happy holiday greeting (Merry Christmas would be my staple). What a different world it would be if everyone shared those sentiments year round!
Some years, I've seen holiday preparation as a tedious chore. I'd dread the cleaning, crowds, decorating, cooking, etc. I love every bit of it this year. This weekend, I'll be picking up cards, getting out the decorations, ordering ninja cookie cutters (we have a new tradition for the family that involves crazy & creative cookie decorating), creating a warm and happy home environement, and just spreading some holiday cheer.
I want to ceate an atmosphere so warm, so bright and full of joy we'll be basking in the afterglow until spring rolls around!
Might sound a little manic, but once I buy into something, my child-like enthusiasm kicks in and I like to jump right in while the tide is high.
How do you feel this time of the year? What are your favorite holiday traditions? If there are aspects of the season you dread, how are you going to make the best of it or avoid it this year?
OH! Time to start downloading my favorite Christmas songs, woohoo!
I don't know if it's reality or my perception, but it seems that people are more likely to smile, hold doors for one another, share a happy holiday greeting (Merry Christmas would be my staple). What a different world it would be if everyone shared those sentiments year round!
Some years, I've seen holiday preparation as a tedious chore. I'd dread the cleaning, crowds, decorating, cooking, etc. I love every bit of it this year. This weekend, I'll be picking up cards, getting out the decorations, ordering ninja cookie cutters (we have a new tradition for the family that involves crazy & creative cookie decorating), creating a warm and happy home environement, and just spreading some holiday cheer.
I want to ceate an atmosphere so warm, so bright and full of joy we'll be basking in the afterglow until spring rolls around!
Might sound a little manic, but once I buy into something, my child-like enthusiasm kicks in and I like to jump right in while the tide is high.
How do you feel this time of the year? What are your favorite holiday traditions? If there are aspects of the season you dread, how are you going to make the best of it or avoid it this year?
OH! Time to start downloading my favorite Christmas songs, woohoo!
Your experience and advice could really help me here.
Grr...all it took was one person in a bad mood yesterday and I lost it.
Fortunately, today's a new day and I'm feeling great again. I think next week's theme will need to be tips on maintaining that positive outlook, NO MATTER WHAT! If for no other reason than my own mental well-being. I know that a serious opportunity of mine is catching the bad mood/attitude contagion. There's no mask that stops that virus and quarantine is not an option.
While I'm researching my little heart out, anything you do that helps with this would be greatly appreciated!! Lots of things sound great in theory, as written material, but experience is the best teacher.
Fortunately, today's a new day and I'm feeling great again. I think next week's theme will need to be tips on maintaining that positive outlook, NO MATTER WHAT! If for no other reason than my own mental well-being. I know that a serious opportunity of mine is catching the bad mood/attitude contagion. There's no mask that stops that virus and quarantine is not an option.
While I'm researching my little heart out, anything you do that helps with this would be greatly appreciated!! Lots of things sound great in theory, as written material, but experience is the best teacher.
To get a new perspective, I had to get, well, a new perspective. (Long, but I think it's kind of a fun read)
What a great weekend! That wasn't what I was expecting to share this morning.
I'm lucky enough to live in beautiful rural Wisconsin. That means there's an extra holiday for us that starts the weekend before Thanksgiving called "deer season." The hunting is really a minor part of this event, it being more about male bonding & camaraderie (yep, guys hanging out drinking & playing poker). I'm not here to debate views on hunting. I don't participate myself and it is what it is.
Since we have some acreage, we're a destination for friends and family this time of the year. Small amendment, male friends and family. While my kids and I aren't exactly banished, we really don't have a place in the weekend events, and the kids will learn to drink & swear all their own without an accelerated course provided by the guys over the weekend. There are actually events all over Wisconsin geared toward the "deer widows weekend."
Anyway, we usually find other ways to occupy ourselves during opening weekend, preferably a city or 2 away. For the most part I look forward to it. This year though, I was getting a little whiny and martyry (not a word but serves its purpose). Just wanted a quiet weekend at home. Why do I have to leave? Turned out to be awesome.
The kids and I got a hotel, pulled out the "my places" app, and filled every minute with very loosely scheduled fun. We got craft supplies, hit the budget theater for cheesy movies, had a couple hours at places set up for kids to run & jump around, pool at the hotel...you name it.
3 things made it great. Well, 4 if you count that the guys at home were great about cleaning up before we got back.
1. The kids looked forward to it so much I resolved that the weekend would be all about them. Less watching the clock, less nagging, no agenda of my own other than them having a great time. With this starting premise, I was amazed at my level of peace & joy, just watching them be the awesome kids that they are. My daughter and I laughed at each other for our tears of joy watching Real Steel.
2. My happiness, lack of stress and getting out of the house allowed me to forget about cleaning, insignificant but nagging tasks, work and other peoples' behavior that I tend to focus on a little too much. Such clarity and creativity!! Before the kids fell asleep at the hotel, I put all of the ideas and plans that were flowing down on paper so as not to lose them or the feeling that went along with them.
3. When we got home, I carried those feelings in the door with me. All of the negative thoughts about deer weekend were gone. I felt totally refreshed and renewed, even enough to perk up the hungover inhabitants of the man-cave, enough to bounce around the house and start implementing ideas instead of nagging & jumping into tasks that won't have any impact tomorrow much less in a year.
Obviously, I can't do this every weekend. We'd be broke before Christmas. Now I have to find ways to do this on a smaller scale every day, because I really don't want to lose this feeling.
Anyone have a similar experience? What do you do on a daily basis to keep a positive perspective & not get caught up in the daily grind?
I'm lucky enough to live in beautiful rural Wisconsin. That means there's an extra holiday for us that starts the weekend before Thanksgiving called "deer season." The hunting is really a minor part of this event, it being more about male bonding & camaraderie (yep, guys hanging out drinking & playing poker). I'm not here to debate views on hunting. I don't participate myself and it is what it is.
Since we have some acreage, we're a destination for friends and family this time of the year. Small amendment, male friends and family. While my kids and I aren't exactly banished, we really don't have a place in the weekend events, and the kids will learn to drink & swear all their own without an accelerated course provided by the guys over the weekend. There are actually events all over Wisconsin geared toward the "deer widows weekend."
Anyway, we usually find other ways to occupy ourselves during opening weekend, preferably a city or 2 away. For the most part I look forward to it. This year though, I was getting a little whiny and martyry (not a word but serves its purpose). Just wanted a quiet weekend at home. Why do I have to leave? Turned out to be awesome.
The kids and I got a hotel, pulled out the "my places" app, and filled every minute with very loosely scheduled fun. We got craft supplies, hit the budget theater for cheesy movies, had a couple hours at places set up for kids to run & jump around, pool at the hotel...you name it.
3 things made it great. Well, 4 if you count that the guys at home were great about cleaning up before we got back.
1. The kids looked forward to it so much I resolved that the weekend would be all about them. Less watching the clock, less nagging, no agenda of my own other than them having a great time. With this starting premise, I was amazed at my level of peace & joy, just watching them be the awesome kids that they are. My daughter and I laughed at each other for our tears of joy watching Real Steel.
2. My happiness, lack of stress and getting out of the house allowed me to forget about cleaning, insignificant but nagging tasks, work and other peoples' behavior that I tend to focus on a little too much. Such clarity and creativity!! Before the kids fell asleep at the hotel, I put all of the ideas and plans that were flowing down on paper so as not to lose them or the feeling that went along with them.
3. When we got home, I carried those feelings in the door with me. All of the negative thoughts about deer weekend were gone. I felt totally refreshed and renewed, even enough to perk up the hungover inhabitants of the man-cave, enough to bounce around the house and start implementing ideas instead of nagging & jumping into tasks that won't have any impact tomorrow much less in a year.
Obviously, I can't do this every weekend. We'd be broke before Christmas. Now I have to find ways to do this on a smaller scale every day, because I really don't want to lose this feeling.
Anyone have a similar experience? What do you do on a daily basis to keep a positive perspective & not get caught up in the daily grind?
Why Launch this Endeavor with the Happy Little Bee & Positive Message?
This happy little bee has no socio-economic status, no nationality, no gender (ok, it's not a queen). It's just a happy little insect smiling & stopping to smell the roses.
While it's impossible to appeal to everybody (not going to lose sleep trying), I really wanted to remove as many barriers as possible so that the message would be the focus.
My life is different than yours. More struggles than some, less than others.
It's really a challenge for me at times to maintain a positive disposition, and I tend to do best when I see & hear positive messages and interact with others either trying to do the same, or who are naturally very positive & great at conveying that feeling. We know we're influenced by others (like it or not) and I'm choosing to surround myself with people and concepts that are good, kind, healthy and encouraging.
So whether you need a boost, can give a boost or just want to contribute to the light side of the force (can't help the nerdy Star Wars reference) read and share with me!
While it's impossible to appeal to everybody (not going to lose sleep trying), I really wanted to remove as many barriers as possible so that the message would be the focus.
My life is different than yours. More struggles than some, less than others.
It's really a challenge for me at times to maintain a positive disposition, and I tend to do best when I see & hear positive messages and interact with others either trying to do the same, or who are naturally very positive & great at conveying that feeling. We know we're influenced by others (like it or not) and I'm choosing to surround myself with people and concepts that are good, kind, healthy and encouraging.
So whether you need a boost, can give a boost or just want to contribute to the light side of the force (can't help the nerdy Star Wars reference) read and share with me!
"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." -Mother Theresa. (blog) Tossing & turning last night, not sticking with this theme. What do you do?
First, thank you all for your warm "likes", comments, thoughts and contributions! Despite a challenging day, I was definitely feeling a "positivity buzz!"
So, rewarding but challenging day and going into what should be a rewarding and challenging week. I get to bed much later than usual with both of these things on my mind, a little stressed. Rather drifting off into a blissful sleep, content with what I've done, warm and comfortable in bed next to my wonderful husband, I toss and turn thinking about the challenges. Toss and turn thinking about what's gone wrong, people who've let me down (it's nobody's responsibility to meet my expectations!), all the work I have to do this week. This even though there are all these thoughts & concepts we share to be content in the moment, despite all the tips & techniques I've read to redirect myself.
I know it takes building habits & refocussing. Any tips? What works for you?
So, rewarding but challenging day and going into what should be a rewarding and challenging week. I get to bed much later than usual with both of these things on my mind, a little stressed. Rather drifting off into a blissful sleep, content with what I've done, warm and comfortable in bed next to my wonderful husband, I toss and turn thinking about the challenges. Toss and turn thinking about what's gone wrong, people who've let me down (it's nobody's responsibility to meet my expectations!), all the work I have to do this week. This even though there are all these thoughts & concepts we share to be content in the moment, despite all the tips & techniques I've read to redirect myself.
I know it takes building habits & refocussing. Any tips? What works for you?
"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this." -Thoreau
I love that visual. I see so many standing on their island, full of people who love and depend on them, a wealth of opportunities & choices, who think "I'll be happy when..." and look toward alien land.
I can say that I am fully engaged in thinking about this quote, what it means to me & how I want to share my thoughts. I'm doing this in my warm home that's shielding me from a cloudy, windy fall day in Wisconsin, with the occasional sounds of my kids coming from our family room. I love where I am, what I'm doing and how I'm feeling right at this moment.
How about you? If not, change something, because that moment is gone. Don't waste another moment.
I can say that I am fully engaged in thinking about this quote, what it means to me & how I want to share my thoughts. I'm doing this in my warm home that's shielding me from a cloudy, windy fall day in Wisconsin, with the occasional sounds of my kids coming from our family room. I love where I am, what I'm doing and how I'm feeling right at this moment.
How about you? If not, change something, because that moment is gone. Don't waste another moment.
